liberty_lover

Yesterday was kind of a fail. We usually try to do something as a family on Saturdays, but with Craig putting in all the overtime, it didn't happen. I went to my parents house in hopes of going to Hobby Lobby with my mom, but she was still laying sod so that didn't happen either. I knitted some, and then we came home. I may have written about this yesterday, but I can't remember.

Last night, I couldn't figure out dinner to save my life. I made a grilled cheese for Madasen and gave her some applesauce, but waited until Craig came home to even continue thinking about dinner for myself. I had planned on getting gf pizza from Mellow Mushroom, but then it turned into this massive ordeal. You have to order to a certain price point, and then there's a delivery charge and taxes. By the time it was all said and done, it turned into a bigger deal than I had wanted it to, so I bailed on the whole thing. Then I thought a corn dog sounded pretty good, but remembered (in the nick of time) that the last time I ate a hot dog it made me feel rotten for quite a while. So, after Craig got home at 10, I dilly dallied until after 11 and finally decided on Sonic. I hesitated because I typically don't feel very good after eating that either, but by the time I made my decision it was so late I didn't have many other options. Craig wanted french toast sticks too, so I got those and a burger for myself. We ate and then went to bed after the end of Cat in the Hat and the food.

I put Peter Pan on for Madasen last night for the first time. She was very concerned about Tinkerbell, and asked about her for most of the rest of the night. Then Cat in the Hat was on, and we watched that. She thought it was pretty funny too. She watched the whole thing, which I was pretty impressed with. Two movies in one night, plus the second wasn't a cartoon. I might try Alice on her today, except that she is still pretty sensitive and that movie is quite dark for her. We'll see. I wanted to play Cinderella for her, but after how she reacted to the kids leaving Nana behind in Peter Pan, and the state of Michael's teddy bear I thought it might be too much for her. She is very sensitive to emotions, feelings, and in particular animals.

I feel like last night took forever to get through. It was 85 in the room when we went to bed, and I woke up sweating from every part of my body so I had Craig turn the air on for a bit. I tossed and turned most of the night and that kept Ethan up, which kept me up. It's quite the cycle. lol This morning Craig got ready and has already left for work. Madasen and I have watched a Mickey Mouse and now Jungle Junction (a british cartoon that I really like too).

The only thing that didn't get done last night were the dishes, which I'll tackle after I finish this post, and I'm excited to check on my seedlings. I noticed considerable growth even since I watered them yesterday to when I checked on them last night. I'm going to knit for a bit because I'm almost done with the green, and I'll be able to start my new color today. I'd like to sew some diapers too, and I want to spend some time with Madasen. She's been overly affectionate and loving the last few days. She loves feeling Ethan kicking, and while I know she doesn't understand what all this means, I'm just loving back on her as much as I can.

Karen is coming back to Phoenix in May (the 2nd weekend I guess), which was when we were originally having my shower and now it looks like that can't happen (the shower). She's also got a flight booked for Oregon (for some photo shoots) in June - also the 2nd weekend. I'm a little upset about that one because I could have Ethan anywhere from that week forward, and I like having my sister around when I have a baby. I don't know why, other than my emotions are all jello, because ordinarily we don't get along very well. I think I was hoping she would stay in the hospital with me because Craig isn't going to this time (so he can be able to take care of Madasen). Ah well. It'll all work out. Always does.

I'm off. I want to do the following:

Dishes
Check the plants
Make my list for the week
Throw out the weeds that are bagged
Make the meal list for the next two weeks
Knit
Sew diapers
Tidy the living room

We'll see how it goes. :)

just finished catching up on kellie's journal. wow. more to come.

So, the goal for today - the WHOLE goal - is to finish the kitchen (two coats of paint on the remaining white walls, filling in the blanks from where Craig did the edging) and to clean it. Since I've been painting for just over a week, the kitchen has taken the big hit. There are dishes everywhere, and nothing is where it belongs. But, now that I have a ladder, there's no reason to keep postponing it, and the sooner I get it done, the sooner I get to start on the red wall for the dining room. I'll be posting pictures on Facebook as I go - with before and afters. The before on the kitchen will be tricky, because I've already painted it when I thought of the before/after shots, but I'll get it.

My mom came over and we had Taco Bell for lunch. She was here to see the color of the kitchen, and she says it's beautiful .

The baby is doing awesomely after her two shots yesterday, and the rototeq thing. She's in playing with her floor mobile and there's really no reason I shouldn't be painting. lol

Hopefully tonight, I'll be able to start unpacking some of the upstairs. We'll see.

I hope everyone is having a happy...Monday? Tuesday? Whatever day it is. lol

Tags: baby, mom, painting

Current Location: the couch

Current Mood: happy

Current Music: pop goes the weasel

We went to church this morning. Craig spent the night on the couch (which is roughly 2 feet from the bed, since we haven't had the strength or energy to carry it up the stairs yet). I kept telling him to come to bed, and he kept saying he was comfortable. I finally gave up. lol Then we went to church. It was alright - I was distracted because of the baby. Craig said it was good.

Afterward, we picked up lunch from In-N-Out. Then we went home and I gathered up the clothing. We came to my mom's house, and I'm doing laundry while he kills zombies with my dad on Call of Duty 5: World at War.

We may go to church tonight, if the laundry is done. Otherwise, we'll just meet up with Craig's sister and husband afterward. I don't want to stay out late, because the two schools that I have to pass to get to my parents house start tomorrow, and so it'll take me extra time to get up here and then to get back down. (There are only two roads that go into the community, and each one has a major school on it.)

I finished painting 99% of the kitchen last night. I'll start on the second and final coat tomorrow. I'm pretty excited about that. It's a beautiful color: the inside of a butternut squash. I absolutely LOVE looking at my kitchen. I just stare at it. haha I'm a nerd.

I talked to my mom about how I was feeling, and she prayed against thoughts of suicide for me, and told me that I need to go ahead and make an appointment with my dr. I will be doing that tomorrow, I think. It'll be a good thing.

I had something else to say, but I forgot.

( A post about my postpartum struggle )
Prayers are appreciated. For the record, I don't regret my baby in any way, shape or form. I am just struggling, and I guess it's time to seek help.

I've started to paint my kitchen. I'm not sure if I like it yet or not. I stopped to take care of the baby, but after I got everything washed out and set to dry, she fell asleep. I guess I'll go back to painting until she wakes.

I went on my leave of absence for work the week that our reviews were to be done. I was kinda bummed because I wanted to be able to go over everything around that time, and also, to know what my yearly raise was going to be. Due to the fact that I started working for the particular location before it opened, they only considered my employment to be from when the doors opened, no the store set up. Subsequently, my raise was pro-rated. That was for the first year. So, my raise was roughly 7-10 cents. I can't exactly remember. So, for the last year, I've made 8.17/hr. I'm pretty vocal about it, but not necessarily in a negative way. I chose this job because I enjoy it, and I had always wanted to be a cashier - so it didn't matter what my wage was - Lord knows I've worked for far less and that I've worked for far more. I know that I was the executive assistant to the head chef of the Westin Kierland Resort. I know that I'm far more capable and worth far more than 8.17. But since I enjoy what I do, it's not really about the money. Though the money is nice.

The delivery of the baby prevented me from finding out what my raise was. But I've been waiting in anxious anticipation - would it be the full 25 cents? Maybe more? I've really contributed a lot to the company as far as implementing the way certain things are done - I've become an amazingly patient and graceful person. I get compliments on a regular basis - and in retail, that's a hard thing to achieve. So, today I decided to go ahead and track down my raise amount. Anyone want to take a guess? Okay, I'll tell you. :)

1 cent.

I now make 8.18 an hour. I wish I was kidding. I've been with this company for two years, and I've really become an excellent employee, only calling out when I was hospitalized for a double kidney infection and then when the baby was born (as she came about 2 weeks early).

The baby seems to be teething. She's running a slight fever and is completely inconsolable. It's been a hard night. I finally got her down, but now have to spend the rest of the night paying very close attention to her breathing because I gave her baby Tylenol. Craig is with her now while I type. He's watching some show on Palladia on U2, his favorite band of all time. Some of their older footage is just plain weird.

It's 10:30 on Friday night and I'm ready for bed. Ah, the combination of motherhood and working outside the home...

I hope you all have a terrific weekend.

Rachael - I finally remembered! When you switched from breast-feeding to foods, did you noticed any kind of excema (sp)? The book warned me that it could happen, but I think if you wait longer to introduce foods in general - rice with breastmilk, barley with breastmilk etc, then you might not have that issue? But I have nothing to prove it with, so I thought I'd ask the expert. :) All these mom things...so tricky!

I haven't updated in a few days because I've been working a lot more than what I was scheduled, plus the time that I get to have with the baby is doubly precious. She just makes everything so much better. I cannot believe how totally Worth It my awful pregnancy was. I'd do it all over again to have another baby just as wonderful as she is.

We still don't have mailbox keys. So I have a week and a half worth of mail stuck in a little box because I can't get in it. And haha for trying to get the mailman to stop long enough for me to even ask. It's going to be almost $100.00 for a locksmith to break in and then make me a key. Yikes.

Craig installed my new hard drive and my new keyboard. I cannot tell you how great it is. It's like having a brand-new computer.

I've gotten a couple book ideas over the last few days, so I'm going to start outlining them and figuring out how I want to approach them. It's been eons since I've even attempted a full book, so I imagine it'll be slow-going at first, but it'll be worth it in the end.

It rained so hard all through the night. It was absolutely fabulous.

I think that's all for now.

listening to her talk to me about her day, or whatever is bothering her. It's so funny how she has always had such a huge personality - I didn't pose her for that picture, she did that on her own. Since the day she was born she's made that O expression. She also puts her hand to the cleavage part of my breast when she nurses. That's one of my favorite things too.

Work was okay. Apparently, the LOA company that is being used decided that I didn't need to return to work until the 14th, without my say-so. It made things very confusing today, and I couldn't do my job since I couldn't punch my number into the computers. I wound up working in softlines - hardly tragic since I used to work at Hollister, but it certainly made me appreciate guest services all the more.

It was great to see my baby when I got to my mom's though. She nestled her head into my shoulder and it just made everything right again.

I was able to get some quick shopping done before going to pick her up - and let me tell you - shopping alone is such an easy experience...having a baby changes everything.

My computer is finally fixed, and has all the right drivers on it and everything. I'm pretty excited. It really should never blue-screen again, thank God. I'm tired of losing everything over and over. Tonight we'll download the game onto it, and I'll get my Mozilla bar set up and life will be peachy.

Speaking of peaches, Olathe sweet corn came in a few weeks ago. I finally got some today, and I'm so excited to try it out. I love eating with the seasons. I'm going to freeze some of the corn in the next few weeks here so that we have it over the winter months. It's just so much better than the canned kind, or even the frozen kind.

I had a mom-question for Rachael, but now I've forgotten it again. Hopefully I'll remember it a 4th time, and maybe, just maybe it'll coincide with when I'm writing in here. lol

The baby is crying and I need to make dinner. I enjoyed all of your entries today. I'll see you soon.

Today is my last day with the baby without having to work. Craig says that this is only temporary and I pray heartily that it is. I made sure to spend extra time with her this morning in bed, talking (well, me talking and her cooing and telling me all about it). I explained to her that I had to go back to work, but that she'd be with grandma and have so much fun. She smiled at me about that. I'm intending to wake up early tomorrow so that I can still have my precious time with her. Going back to work is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Even harder than labor. And that's saying something.

The house is basically at a standstill for any kind of forward-progress on getting things unpacked. I'm entirely unmotivated now that the kitchen and downstairs are mostly set up. It's a little messy down here, but not too bad. There's still so much that needs to be done. I could really make good head-way today, but have decided I'd rather spend my last day of freedom with God, the baby and the computer, not necessarily in that order.

So, the HOA says that you can have livestock. I could have a goat. That makes me laugh.

Church was good last night. The baby was fussy toward the end, but otherwise an angel. We did dinner at Village Inn and I got the Cinnamon Toast pancakes and woah - they were amazing.

Random thought: The hospital doesn't give you a birth certificate anymore. You have to order it for 15.00. We haven't done that yet, but need to. I don't know which box all that information is in - ah, sweet inspiration for cleaning/unpacking.

In other news, it's been freakishly cool at night here. It is very un-August like. It had to be in the low 80's last night. Based on weather.com, I'm right. And today is only 103 for the high, currently 93 - what is this? It's not Phoenix, that's for sure.

I guess I need to get something to eat before the baby wakes. I hope everyone is having a great Monday.