strech marks are badges of mommy honor

painting...or being sidetracked by everything else...

2009-08-25T20:05:59Z

So, the goal for today - the WHOLE goal - is to finish the kitchen (two coats of paint on the remaining white walls, filling in the blanks from where Craig did the edging) and to clean it. Since I've been painting for just over a week, the kitchen has taken the big hit. There are dishes everywhere, and nothing is where it belongs. But, now that I have a ladder, there's no reason to keep postponing it, and the sooner I get it done, the sooner I get to start on the red wall for the dining room. I'll be posting pictures on Facebook as I go - with before and afters. The before on the kitchen will be tricky, because I've already painted it when I thought of the before/after shots, but I'll get it.

My mom came over and we had Taco Bell for lunch. She was here to see the color of the kitchen, and she says it's beautiful .

The baby is doing awesomely after her two shots yesterday, and the rototeq thing. She's in playing with her floor mobile and there's really no reason I shouldn't be painting. lol

Hopefully tonight, I'll be able to start unpacking some of the upstairs. We'll see.

I hope everyone is having a happy...Monday? Tuesday? Whatever day it is. lol

sunday

2009-08-17T01:33:11Z

We went to church this morning. Craig spent the night on the couch (which is roughly 2 feet from the bed, since we haven't had the strength or energy to carry it up the stairs yet). I kept telling him to come to bed, and he kept saying he was comfortable. I finally gave up. lol Then we went to church. It was alright - I was distracted because of the baby. Craig said it was good.

Afterward, we picked up lunch from In-N-Out. Then we went home and I gathered up the clothing. We came to my mom's house, and I'm doing laundry while he kills zombies with my dad on Call of Duty 5: World at War.

We may go to church tonight, if the laundry is done. Otherwise, we'll just meet up with Craig's sister and husband afterward. I don't want to stay out late, because the two schools that I have to pass to get to my parents house start tomorrow, and so it'll take me extra time to get up here and then to get back down. (There are only two roads that go into the community, and each one has a major school on it.)

I finished painting 99% of the kitchen last night. I'll start on the second and final coat tomorrow. I'm pretty excited about that. It's a beautiful color: the inside of a butternut squash. I absolutely LOVE looking at my kitchen. I just stare at it. haha I'm a nerd.

I talked to my mom about how I was feeling, and she prayed against thoughts of suicide for me, and told me that I need to go ahead and make an appointment with my dr. I will be doing that tomorrow, I think. It'll be a good thing.

I had something else to say, but I forgot.

postpartum

2009-08-16T04:20:14Z

Postpartum has been hard for me. I'm really not sure why, and I wasn't expecting most of this. I didn't really think about post-pregnancy. I think I just thought I'd have a baby and then everything would go back to "normal" physically - that I'd be able to tie my shoes again, and get dressed without needing help, that I'd be able to walk and not waddle. Sure, I figured I'd still have some of the weight, but I also figured that my face would clear up (it broke out horribly in my third trimester) right away (like all the books said it would) and that I'd be able to function again. I completely spaced the whole episiotomy healing thing. I also didn't really think about how truly traumatic giving birth is on the human body. I don't know why, I just didn't.

I lost 30 pounds the first week. I have 12 pounds to go until I'm at my pre-pregnancy weight, and another 10 pounds to go to get to the weight I maintained the whole time I was on birth control. I'm not so concerned about the last 10 pounds, and truly, I think the 12 pounds will come off after I finish nursing, because I won't need to be taking in so many extra calories per day. So, that's been a struggle. I was hoping to lose all of it right away. "Nursing makes you lose weight," they say. And for some it does. But they don't really say, "for some it doesn't though." I'm wearing the belly bandita thing and that's really helping, but it doesn't change the fact that I can't get into any of my pre-pregnancy jeans or skirts. My butt and thighs are super-sized now. lol That just sounded funny.

My face hasn't cleared. I finally had to go to a dermatologist. They were able to prescribe 3 different medicines. It's much better than it was, but it's still not great. That's been hard. People at work comment - which is just rude, but it is what it is. This one lady in particular (who happens to be one of my managers) says that I look like I just hit puberty - almost daily. It's hard.

It took 11 weeks for me to recover - and I didn't anticipate that. I know it could have been worse, and I'm grateful I was able to deliver naturally. Oh, and I didn't know that the breast-feeding thing would hurt so much either. But it was all totally worth it. I don't regret that the epidural almost completely wore off for her dropping from -2 to 5 in an hour, while simultaneously going from 8-10 and then delivering without any relief. I'll be glad to do it slightly differently next time, but I'm glad I experienced a mostly natural childbirth.

Finally, I'm just feeling angry. I don't really know why, or over what. Tonight was kind of the breaking point. I'm going to be going to a doctor this week to talk about postpartum depression. That's really hard for me. I don't like admitting I need help. But I don't know what else to do.

Prayers are appreciated. For the record, I don't regret my baby in any way, shape or form. I am just struggling, and I guess it's time to seek help.

painting

2009-08-16T00:27:32Z

I've started to paint my kitchen. I'm not sure if I like it yet or not. I stopped to take care of the baby, but after I got everything washed out and set to dry, she fell asleep. I guess I'll go back to painting until she wakes.

my 1 cent...

2009-08-15T05:24:51Z

I went on my leave of absence for work the week that our reviews were to be done. I was kinda bummed because I wanted to be able to go over everything around that time, and also, to know what my yearly raise was going to be. Due to the fact that I started working for the particular location before it opened, they only considered my employment to be from when the doors opened, no the store set up. Subsequently, my raise was pro-rated. That was for the first year. So, my raise was roughly 7-10 cents. I can't exactly remember. So, for the last year, I've made 8.17/hr. I'm pretty vocal about it, but not necessarily in a negative way. I chose this job because I enjoy it, and I had always wanted to be a cashier - so it didn't matter what my wage was - Lord knows I've worked for far less and that I've worked for far more. I know that I was the executive assistant to the head chef of the Westin Kierland Resort. I know that I'm far more capable and worth far more than 8.17. But since I enjoy what I do, it's not really about the money. Though the money is nice.

The delivery of the baby prevented me from finding out what my raise was. But I've been waiting in anxious anticipation - would it be the full 25 cents? Maybe more? I've really contributed a lot to the company as far as implementing the way certain things are done - I've become an amazingly patient and graceful person. I get compliments on a regular basis - and in retail, that's a hard thing to achieve. So, today I decided to go ahead and track down my raise amount. Anyone want to take a guess? Okay, I'll tell you. :)

1 cent.

I now make 8.18 an hour. I wish I was kidding. I've been with this company for two years, and I've really become an excellent employee, only calling out when I was hospitalized for a double kidney infection and then when the baby was born (as she came about 2 weeks early).

The baby seems to be teething. She's running a slight fever and is completely inconsolable. It's been a hard night. I finally got her down, but now have to spend the rest of the night paying very close attention to her breathing because I gave her baby Tylenol. Craig is with her now while I type. He's watching some show on Palladia on U2, his favorite band of all time. Some of their older footage is just plain weird.

It's 10:30 on Friday night and I'm ready for bed. Ah, the combination of motherhood and working outside the home...

I hope you all have a terrific weekend.

haha - i remembered!

2009-08-13T23:58:06Z

Rachael - I finally remembered! When you switched from breast-feeding to foods, did you noticed any kind of excema (sp)? The book warned me that it could happen, but I think if you wait longer to introduce foods in general - rice with breastmilk, barley with breastmilk etc, then you might not have that issue? But I have nothing to prove it with, so I thought I'd ask the expert. :) All these mom things...so tricky!

I haven't updated in a few days because I've been working a lot more than what I was scheduled, plus the time that I get to have with the baby is doubly precious. She just makes everything so much better. I cannot believe how totally Worth It my awful pregnancy was. I'd do it all over again to have another baby just as wonderful as she is.

We still don't have mailbox keys. So I have a week and a half worth of mail stuck in a little box because I can't get in it. And haha for trying to get the mailman to stop long enough for me to even ask. It's going to be almost $100.00 for a locksmith to break in and then make me a key. Yikes.

Craig installed my new hard drive and my new keyboard. I cannot tell you how great it is. It's like having a brand-new computer.

I've gotten a couple book ideas over the last few days, so I'm going to start outlining them and figuring out how I want to approach them. It's been eons since I've even attempted a full book, so I imagine it'll be slow-going at first, but it'll be worth it in the end.

It rained so hard all through the night. It was absolutely fabulous.

I think that's all for now.

The 1,500th greatest thing about being a mom is...

2009-08-12T01:11:22Z

listening to her talk to me about her day, or whatever is bothering her. It's so funny how she has always had such a huge personality - I didn't pose her for that picture, she did that on her own. Since the day she was born she's made that O expression. She also puts her hand to the cleavage part of my breast when she nurses. That's one of my favorite things too.

Work was okay. Apparently, the LOA company that is being used decided that I didn't need to return to work until the 14th, without my say-so. It made things very confusing today, and I couldn't do my job since I couldn't punch my number into the computers. I wound up working in softlines - hardly tragic since I used to work at Hollister, but it certainly made me appreciate guest services all the more.

It was great to see my baby when I got to my mom's though. She nestled her head into my shoulder and it just made everything right again.

I was able to get some quick shopping done before going to pick her up - and let me tell you - shopping alone is such an easy experience...having a baby changes everything.

My computer is finally fixed, and has all the right drivers on it and everything. I'm pretty excited. It really should never blue-screen again, thank God. I'm tired of losing everything over and over. Tonight we'll download the game onto it, and I'll get my Mozilla bar set up and life will be peachy.

Speaking of peaches, Olathe sweet corn came in a few weeks ago. I finally got some today, and I'm so excited to try it out. I love eating with the seasons. I'm going to freeze some of the corn in the next few weeks here so that we have it over the winter months. It's just so much better than the canned kind, or even the frozen kind.

I had a mom-question for Rachael, but now I've forgotten it again. Hopefully I'll remember it a 4th time, and maybe, just maybe it'll coincide with when I'm writing in here. lol

The baby is crying and I need to make dinner. I enjoyed all of your entries today. I'll see you soon.

sad things, and not-so-sad things, and some random things

2009-08-10T19:28:08Z

Today is my last day with the baby without having to work. Craig says that this is only temporary and I pray heartily that it is. I made sure to spend extra time with her this morning in bed, talking (well, me talking and her cooing and telling me all about it). I explained to her that I had to go back to work, but that she'd be with grandma and have so much fun. She smiled at me about that. I'm intending to wake up early tomorrow so that I can still have my precious time with her. Going back to work is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Even harder than labor. And that's saying something.

The house is basically at a standstill for any kind of forward-progress on getting things unpacked. I'm entirely unmotivated now that the kitchen and downstairs are mostly set up. It's a little messy down here, but not too bad. There's still so much that needs to be done. I could really make good head-way today, but have decided I'd rather spend my last day of freedom with God, the baby and the computer, not necessarily in that order.

So, the HOA says that you can have livestock. I could have a goat. That makes me laugh.

Church was good last night. The baby was fussy toward the end, but otherwise an angel. We did dinner at Village Inn and I got the Cinnamon Toast pancakes and woah - they were amazing.

Random thought: The hospital doesn't give you a birth certificate anymore. You have to order it for 15.00. We haven't done that yet, but need to. I don't know which box all that information is in - ah, sweet inspiration for cleaning/unpacking.

In other news, it's been freakishly cool at night here. It is very un-August like. It had to be in the low 80's last night. Based on weather.com, I'm right. And today is only 103 for the high, currently 93 - what is this? It's not Phoenix, that's for sure.

I guess I need to get something to eat before the baby wakes. I hope everyone is having a great Monday.

saturday

2009-08-09T21:23:54Z

Soccer is something that Craig has been playing for a couple of years now. Next session (which starts next week, and the previous one ended last night) he will be playing in two different leagues. Saturdays just got very long. I don't mind so much - it's just much harder now with the baby. On top of that, he's decided to play softball on Tuesday nights. Yikes. Maybe it'll be easiest now, before she can start walking.

I can't believe Madasen is over 4 months now. In some ways it feels like yesterday. She sucks her thumb now, and is just 1,000 different kinds of cute.

I had a nightmare about going back to work again last night. I was having to search through the isles to find my schedule - and when I finally found it, the page with my last name was missing. Strangely, my sister was also working there, but that page of the schedule was intact. It wasn't my current sister - it was my sister when she was around 16 too. It was just so odd. I was completely frustrated because I couldn't figure out when I worked next, and I needed to because I had to figure out childcare for the baby. I've been having nightmares about returning to work for roughly 2 weeks. It just sucks. The weird thing is that I genuinely enjoy what I do - I love working with people, and making bad situations better. I just don't love the pay (8.17/hr), and I don't love that I have to leave my daughter.

Anyway, after soccer last night we went to get Call of Duty: World at War used, which is the latest installment of the game. My dad and brother play it all the time, and Craig would like to be able to play it with them. My dad had my brother-in-law over there playing already, so then when my brother and husband finished up their soccer game, they were to go over and play too. But the store (which said they had 3 copies, 1 new and 2 used) wound up having a defective new copy and managed to "misplace" the other two. We rented it from Blockbuster for - get this - 10.00 - that's 25% of what it costs to buy it new! But he had to have it, so we got it.

I ran a load of a laundry at my mom's house while they were playing. Oh, but I forgot the fun detail of: we locked ourselves out of our house. So, at 10:30 I was back over at my house proving to the locksmith that I did in fact live here, even though the only proof I had was a title, since we haven't had our licenses changed yet. Yeah, it was fun.

Would you like to guess what time my brother in law left? 2 a.m. But that didn't deter my dad and husband. No, no. They played much later. Craig finally came to bed at 6 a.m. No, I'm not kidding. He and dad stayed up all night killing Nazi zombies. Yee-haw.

The baby and I obviously spent the night at my parents. I was far too tired to drive home, and it would have left him stranded over there. We finally came home at 1 or so, after giving two little girls 5.00 for a cup of lemonade. They were so excited - they were only charging .75, but I'm a huge supporter of entrepreneurs, and had to give them the extra money. Their eyes got so huge - 5.00 is huge still, which makes me happy. They had a combo deal with popcorn and lemonade for 1.25, but I just took the lemonade.

We'll go to church tonight. Then we'll do dinner at Village Inn. Regular Heritage Breakfast here I come. lol

We went to a used bookstore yesterday and bought "If You Give a Pig a Pancake," "If You Give a Moose a Muffin," "If You Take a Mouse to the Movies," "If You Take a Mouse to School" and "Borrower's Avenged" - all for 2.00 a piece. I also got a Lori Wick book for 6.50 that I've been looking for for quite some time. I know you're not supposed to double words. Oops. I figure if I get them now, at 2.00 a piece, then by the time she's really old enough to enjoy them I won't have spent a fortune. And yay for that.

Okay, the food will be ready for lunch in 25 seconds, so I'm going to go. I hope you all have a great Sunday, and a fabulous week!

p.s., that icon for my mood is creepy.

the tree

2009-08-08T07:20:39Z

I cut the tree today. It took to looking more like a very, very large bush instead of a mesquite tree. So I started small and worked my way around it. Craig said that he was glad and that it looked beautiful. He said he had no idea how to trim/cut/fix it, so was happy that I tackled that. My mom was hesitant at first with how I was going at it, but became supportive shortly thereafter.

I also tried to wash the clothes at the laundromat, but they were less than helpful, and I came home with a box of dirty laundry. I suppose I'll try again tomorrow - especially since I only have two pairs of shorts that fit, and two shirts. And I've been wearing them for a week. I can't wait until we can get a new washer and dryer - or one at all.

Exactly 0 boxes were unpacked today, but we did get the rest of the shelves and drawers taken care of with the contact paper. Yay for my mom.

Tomorrow, Craig is going to take a stab at the palo verde. That should be good, because it scratches me and my car every time I leave the garage - because we don't have garage door openers either, so I have to push the button and do the High Step Dance to get out - that should be fixed next week.

My computer had another heart attack - this time fatal - we're getting a new hard drive (thank you Dell) on Monday or so. We're also getting a new keyboard since my k, 7, and right shift are missing. Should be fun to replace on a laptop. :P

I know it's almost 1 a.m., but I'm definitely feeling an ice-cream sandwich. I've been drinking fizzy flavored waters - wild cherry is my favorite, but blueberry pomegranate is a close second - it's sweetened with sucrose, so yay for me.

G'nite.

unpacking

2009-08-07T03:55:33Z

My brother called me this morning and asked if I wanted to meet up and go to breakfast/lunch with him. I said sure, got me and the baby ready and went to pick him up. He was having the oil changed at Wal-Mart. We went to Chipotle. It was good, and only made me a little sick, so that's a vast improvement over Very Sick.

My mom came over around 1:30, and we worked on getting the boxes where they need to be. She had to leave at 3:45, but I continued to work on it until Craig got home. I was able to get everything in the general area of where it belongs. I didn't actually unpack any boxes. But that's alright. I'll work on that tomorrow.

I made dinner - fish filets on bread with cheese and ranch to dip it in. Craig put malt vinegar on his, but I don't really like that.

I go back to work next week. I'm kinda bummed.

caps

2009-08-06T00:11:30Z

Wow, not having proper punctuation in my previous journal entries is annoying.

wal-mart and other things

2009-08-06T00:09:18Z

Wal-Mart was an epic failure today. I haven't really been shopping there over the last year and a half or so because it's so much further than Target, Fry's and now Fresh and Easy. Fresh and Easy for those of you who don't live in the southwest is a neighborhood type store that carries more organic products and is typically much smaller than your normal store - but carries the essentials and is nice to have around the block. Since the pregnancy was less than wonderful, I just stayed close to home.

Now that we've moved, however, Wal-Mart is less than 5 minutes away. This particular one was quite the disappointment because they didn't have Frito's or decent garbage bags. It's hard with the baby - I'd really rather do one-stop shopping because what it comes down to is convenience. But they were just missing so many of the things I normally get, it seems I'll have to make the longer drive to Fry's. And, I was surprised at how many of the items they *did* have were so much higher in price. It was a bummer.

In other news, I did manage to get new trash cans ordered from the city. It seems that someone decided to use our current ones as potty's. I can't even get near the recycle trash without dry heaving, and really focusing to keep everything in my body. The guy said that it would be 5-7 days, but that in light of the unusual circumstances, he would try to get them out sooner. He put me on hold for quite some time because apparently it's a special situation - and they don't usually "give out" new trash cans. He had to get approval from his boss. That was fine with me - this stuff is nasty.

I did manage to finish the kitchen last night. It looks great. I'm really excited about it. The counters are a bit full - but we have such a focus on cooking that I don't want to put my big mixer or the food processor under the counters. Then, of course, I can't put the can opener or the toaster under either...I don't really know where there's any kind of flexibility. But yay for the new kitchen.

My face is clearing up a bit. I don't know if any other mama's on here ever had serious breakouts from your pregnancies, but man alive, I did. I finally went to the dermatologist and she gave me straight benzoyl peroxide, along with some sulfer stuff, and then a pill to take twice a day. I've definitely noticed a difference.

I only gained a pound after eating about 5 sourdough jack's, 2 ultimate breakfast sandwiches, 3 chocolate shakes, 8 large soda's, a heritage breakfast from village inn among other bad-for-you things. That's good I guess...I didn't like not being able to cook over the weekend. I had more junk food/fast food than I've had in months. Let me tell you, it gave me a whole new appreciation for home-cooked food. And allowed me to realize just how much I enjoy making food for my little family.

Karen's (my sister) brain surgery was a year ago this month - and I'm thinking it was in the next 5-7 day time period, though I can't remember the exact day. I'm sending her a present in light of her "new" birthday, and a card with a nice little letter. I'm also sending her a sister book. She and I have had a very, very rough relationship over the years, but have been doing better for about a year and a half. She's currently living in Colorado, and I think it'll be a nice surprise for her.

Okay, it's time for me to go home. I need to start making dinner for my sweet husband - I'm thinking a chicken carbonara with corn on the cob or green beans and something lighter and sweeter. With it being so hot out still (107, which isn't too bad actually) it's hard to fix heavier foods.

Sarah - you're in my thoughts (and if you made it this far, yay, lol).

Loves to you all.

the weekend and more

2009-08-05T03:22:13Z

Thursday I was scrambling to get the packing finished, but didn't really get as much done as I needed to. That lead into Friday...

Craig took Friday off since it was Moving Day. But then we ran into some major issues with the closing, the lender, and actually being able to move into the house. Since he took the day off, it was really frustrating to hit this wall. We gave the cats a bath (that didn't go too well) while we were waiting to hear from someone about the title. We also worked on packing more of the house up. Conveniently, everyone was unavailable for packing/loading/moving. We never did record that day. All of the moving trucks in Phoenix were rented on Friday night, so we finally found out that we could rent a truck as long as we had it back by 7 a.m. on Sat. So, we moved through the night. That was rough. Friday was a 21 hour day by the time we fell asleep.

Saturday started early, and went all day as well. We didn't stop until after 3 a.m., for the second night [morning] in a row. That was hard too - especially with the baby. She was awake early and so we had to be awake early too.

Sunday morning we slept, and went to the apartment and cleaned until 5. We were supposed to be out of the apartment by Friday at 6, so we had to pay extra. That was unfortunate, but at least we were able to get the moving done and get the place cleaned up the way I wanted to.

Yesterday, Craig took the day off work and we went to the mall to grab shoes and ate at A&W which was really good.

Today, Tuesday, my mom came over and helped me work on the kitchen - we got almost all of it done, which is exciting. My dad came over and carried almost all of the upstairs stuff up. I cannot tell you how much that meant to me.

The baby continues to bring me joy - she's just so smart and so much fun. And she's so great - she only cried once today when she was hungry - otherwise, she didn't cry at all, and allowed us to get through so much stuff.

I did get the stairs vacuumed and the upstairs too. That was nice.

It's so hot out.

The end. :)

friends and other things

2009-07-29T20:44:32Z

Friends make life so much easier. When you feel bogged down by all the things that are going on - a rough economy (which really doesn't seem to be affecting anyone on my friends list, praise the Lord), trouble with family, sickness, being separated from those we love, and just life in general, friends are there to lift us up and make us feel better. I genuinely enjoy all of you, and thank you for sharing pieces of your lives with me...giving me an insight into a completely different way to spend your 24 hours than I'd ever think of. Or sometimes, I'd think of it, but couldn't do it (like living in Washington again) because my husband doesn't want to. lol Or realizing that I'm not the only person who associates words, letters and names with colors. :)

So, the baby is sleeping, and instead of packing I have talked to my husband, read half a magazine, read all the new posts for the day, responded to several, took my medicine, and found out that we're going to be able to sign the docs today, that the amount for closing was less than what we had anticipated, and that we might be able to get the keys today. This is very exciting.

I need to get dressed for the day (at 1:36) and head out here shortly. I have to go get a money order for the title company, and it's SO FAR from here. The title company, not the money order.

I can't believe we're going to be leaving our little apartment. After all this time. We've been here almost two and a half years. It's our first home, and where we had Madasen. We had our very worst fight ever here, and it allowed us to realize we never wanted to fight like that again. And we haven't. I've turned into quite the little chef here, and we've really established ourselves - both as a couple, as individuals and finally, as parents. Obviously that's all a continual process, but it's nice to have some of this under our belts.

But, on to bigger and better. The downstairs of the new house is bigger than our whole place now. What will we do with all this space?

Finding a house was truly an experience. It was hard because most of the houses on the market at the moment are either short sale or forclosures. The reason forclosures are hard is because they get snapped up really fast. Short sales just take an eternity. We put bids on at least 10 houses before we finally got one accepted - it's taken since Feb. to get here. And now that we're finally here, I couldn't be more excited. We'll have a back yard for the baby to play in once she's big enough - and she can have her own room, once we're done with the co-sleeping thing. And that's been such a blessing too.

Anyway, I need to get a move on. But I hope everyone has a great day.

moving

2009-07-29T06:44:48Z

Moving is upon us. The docs went to the title company today, and we should be signing tomorrow. It takes 24-48 hours to fund after that, and then we can move. The tricky thing, of course, is that we've got to be out of the apartment by midnight on Friday. This could be very tricky indeed.

Fortunately, I have the living room packed, as well as the dining room, second bedroom and bathroom, and most of the kitchen and master bathroom packed. I still have a ton to do in our room though. Hopefully I'll be able to finish it up tomorrow, for the most part. The signing could interfere...but it's a good interference.

I watched 3 episodes of CSI today. The first season too - it was good.

I spent most of the evening going through paperwork, cleaning, and throwing stuff away. We don't want to take anything to this house that we don't need or use. Clutter is NOT my friend.

Anyway, I'm going to nurse the baby and go to sleep. We're tired. lol It's funny how it's no longer 'me' or 'I' - but now constantly and consistently it's as though the two of us are one. But truly, I can't do anything without her, and likewise her with me.

I see that all of you are supposed to have rain - lucky. I wish some of these storms would make it down here.

Oh, and in interesting news, my husband wants chickens so that we don't have to buy eggs anymore.

The End.

my baby girl

2009-06-18T21:15:27Z

Same with this one - lol - she cracks me up.

my baby girl

2009-06-18T21:14:48Z

I just wanted to use the pic. :)

the baby and other things

2009-06-18T20:49:03Z

By the time I get done reading everyone's posts, the baby is inevitably awake again. lol

I had Madasen on April 23rd. I had about 27 hours of labor, and 39 minutes of pushing, which I guess is pretty good for the first one. At least that's what they said at the hospital. I spent three days total there, and the whole experience was really great. They only took the baby from my side twice - once to do all the weighing and measuring sometime after she was born (it seems like I had her on my chest a long time, and then afterward anytime I saw Craig he was holding her) and then in the night to give her a bath and do her pku thing. I don't regret having the baby in the hospital, or not having her underwater - or having an epidural. Especially since that just kept wearing off and I pretty much felt the whole thing. Which I also don't regret.

Since she's been born, life has been really good. I've struggled postpartum, but that's gradually getting better. She's slept through the night, waking only to nurse a few times, and since we're doing the co-sleeping thing, that's a very painless experience. I love her...

She's 8 weeks today, which I can hardly believe. I've really enjoyed my time off from work, and am planning on going back in Aug. I'm bummed that I have to go back at all, but I do what I have to, I guess.

Okay - I need to look at some houses (we're in the process of buying) - I'll try to write more later - maybe after Craig gets home.

oh my goodness...

2009-03-09T19:48:53Z

I'm sorry it's been so long since I've last updated. So much has happened I simply haven't had any time to sit down at the computer and type it out. I'm not feeling 100% today, so this should be pretty short...

January was a pretty decent month overall. Nothing too exciting or extreme happened. I was still struggling with morning sickness to a great degree, and when I wound up in the hospital for some contractions, they put me on a motion sickness medicine (zofran) that made a huge dent in me not getting sick. After about a week, the significant effect of the medicine wasn't as significant, and while I wasn't back at square 1, I was certainly still having issues.

My sister moved to Colorado in January, and seems to have settled in nicely. My mom also "moved" to Colorado to take care of her mom who had been dealing with ALS/Lou Gherig's. She began a 24/7 care of my gran, and the amount of time that she was to spend there was undetermined. It was a huge adjustment for my dad and brother, and obviously for my mom as well. I don't think she's ever been away for an undetermined amount of time.

Craig and I spent a decent amount of time in January either sick or injured (that would fall more on him and his sports :)). It was a rough month in that sense, but we made it through. :)

February brought warmer weather to the Valley, and I can't ever complain about that! Except when it's too hot. :) But that won't be happening for a few more months. We didn't do much of anything for Valentines Day. We're in the process of buying a house - and even though it's still the early stages, we didn't want to be splurging when we could be saving. We looked at several homes, and found one that really suits us, with nominal work involved. It's basically move-in ready, and we keep it in prayer. We should be able to pick everything up again (as far as pursuing loans/offers/move-ins/lease dissolution etc) by the middle of this month.

I had a dr. appointment where they put me on zyrtec 150mg/2x daily and that finished off the morning sickness. I've now gone 2 full weeks without getting sick, and I am such a happy camper! I couldn't be more thrilled to not be having the yucky sickness stuff. I have a solid routine for taking my vitamins/medicines and it's not making me sick either so things are right on track.

Unfortunately, towards the end of Feb., my gran died. She went in her sleep, and with the disease, you couldn't ask for a better way to go. She went in the middle of the night, with no struggle and no pain. We had been believing for a complete miracle and for her to be entirely restored to her pre-ALS self, but it turns out that in order for that to happen she had to go be with Jesus. My gran and I were very close and within half-an-hour of the news, I was having regular 10 minute contractions. After dealing with that at work for almost 3 hours, I finally had enough and decided to go down to the hospital. Craig couldn't be with me then, as he had two major deadlines at work, so I drove myself. Sure enough, I was contracting, and also dilating. They gave me another shot of tributelyne, and while that didn't stop everything completely, it stopped it enough that I could be released. That pretty much nixed me traveling back to Colorado for the funeral, which my sister was initially very upset with me over, but she finally came around after my mom, dad, brothers, and the dr.'s expressed that it simply wasn't in my (or the baby's) best interest. I heard that it was a beautiful service, with almost 130 people showing up to pay their respects, including all of my dad's side of the family. The world is a worse place without her, and she is greatly missed. Once I'm feeling a little better, I'll probably write more about her.

That weekend also brought a massive head cold for both Craig and myself - we could hardly breathe, much less function, so travel probably would have compounded that all the more. We hung out taking care of each other and even though it's never fun to be sick, we really got even closer than we were before since we were all we had.

Moving into March...we're still both dealing with the cold thing, but we're much better. The cough seems to be on it's way out - and the congestion is moving on too.

This last Saturday, I wound up back in the hospital because I lost my plug and was bleeding. Apparently you can lose that thing around 32 weeks (which is where I'm at) and it's okay. I didn't know that. I was having some pretty intense contractions again, and it took hours for them to settle down enough for me to be released. From there, Craig and I went to a linner (lunch and dinner), and then came home. I had to have him help me move around because apparently the baby's head is on something inside me that causes me a great deal of pain. He went to his softball game, I stayed here and relaxed under dr.'s orders.

Sunday we went to church and had a nice day together. We did get into a bit of a spat, but we worked it out pretty quickly. We did get the house cleaned up and the laundry done.

Today I had another dr. appointment, and that's when I found out about why I'm hurting so badly. I came home and called out for tomorrow, because I simply cannot do my job - I can barely walk to the bathroom, much less be bounding around helping people in a retail position. I came home and made a different dr. appointment for tomorrow (so that I can start to feel better) and took care of some bills and calls that we haven't been able to make for one reason or another. Now I'm writing this, and once I'm done here, I'll be grabbing something to eat, and maybe taking a nap. :) I love naps.

Okay, so I know that's a lot longer than I anticipated. And I know it sounds like it's mostly bad, but really, everything is continuing to go so great. Craig and I have a great peace and a wonderful joy about our everyday lives, and how things are progressing. I'm absolutely loving being pregnant for the first time in this whole experience since there's no more sickness. I'm gaining weight at a good rate, and though I weigh 7 pounds more than Craig (bah!), it's really not a bad thing. We were finally able to get registered for the baby (so much fun!), and we're eagerly anticipating her arrival (though not too soon). We genuinely enjoy each other and look forward to each day. I couldn't ask for a better life.

Mom comes home for good tomorrow. My grandpa has decided he wants to do it (live) on his own, with no one watching after him. It's a bit dicey because he's got Alzheimer's...and I guess it's getting pretty crazy. But, we'll see how this goes. I'm going to be glad to have my mom back in town.

My sister-in-law's dad had to have emergency quadruple bypass surgery last week, and he's doing very well. They're back in town (as her dad lives in Vegas).

So, in summary, everything is on the upswing. That's a great place to be, and I couldn't ask for better.

I hope that all of you are doing well. I'm so sorry it's been so long again - I'm going to try my best to write before another 2 months pass. Maybe I'll shoot for once a week...

All my love.

nesting and other things

2009-01-01T21:20:33Z

Wow. What a year. I cannot believe how much better this year was than last year. 2007 was filled with death, destruction, loss, sickness, and hard season after hard season. I was bound and determined that 2008 was going to be great. I had it written on my whiteboard that Craig and I pass every day, and anytime something started to feel hard, I'd just repeat it 'Everything is GREAT in 2008!' I refused to accept impossibility. It's not to say that this year didn't have trials....

From January to June I struggled with being dizzy, finally getting to the point of falling over in public on three different occasions. As it turned out I had a stone in my ear that was messing up my equilibrium. I finally got diagnosed with the stone in June and got immense relief.
I broke my foot at the end of June.
My grandma was diagnosed with Lou Gehrig's in May.
I put a knife through my hand in August.
My dad's truck got stolen.
My sister had to have emergency brain surgery after a wake boarding accident that caused her carotid (sp) artery to bust open and developed a 3 inch blood clot...spent almost 2 weeks in a neuro icu. Then went through all the recovery parts.
My car got broken into and radio stolen.
Craig's grandmother died.
I spent 4 days in the hospital in December with a double kidney infection.

BUT - there was absolutely, positively SO MUCH more that happened that was great.

My brother got engaged, and married to his new beautiful wife. Marriage suits both of them so well, and they are so happy. I've rarely seen a couple that was more perfectly created for each other or more ecstatic to be married.
My ear problem cleared up with the excersizes.
I've had a ton of blood tests run and I'm completely healthy.
We got pregnant.
It's a girl! :)
I have stayed at the same job for over a year.
My hand is still 100% functional.
My dad's truck was recovered with the sentimental stuff that he hadn't wanted to lose - and he was able to get a brand new truck since it was totaled with no out-of-pocket cost.
My sister's carotid artery healed itself and she is completely better. Apparently that's unheard of.
Nothing in the car was damaged from the theft.
I was released from the hospital on Christmas Eve, able to spend the holiday with my family.
We've been able to stay on top of our bills, and even save some extra on top of everything.
We've found a house that we're looking to buy here in the next month or so.
Craig and I have a stronger, more stable, fabulously awesome marriage.

Goodness - there's so much more that I can't even remember. It was as if everything that had a possibility to be awful God turned for something great. I cannot find fault in 2008, even though there have been tears, fears and frustrations; there has also been joy, victory and faith built in gentle, loving ways.

God has been so faithful. He has shown Himself time and time again as being our Provider, our Healer, our Strength. He has carried us through the bills, the uncertainty, and seasons of change. I am just in awe of everything that He represents - but even more how after serving Him for my whole life I can just keep falling in love with Him with greater depth and appreciation for His sacrifice and his unfailing commitment to each of His children. I am proud to be His daughter.

~~~

The pregnancy has been hard. I've had morning sickness all day almost every day for a full 5 months. I had 3 weeks of sweet relief, and then another two weeks since I hit the 5 month mark where I've only been sick twice. That's been really nice. But she's kicking constantly, and I'm finally in a place of really loving the whole being pregnant thing.

Our plan is to get pregnant again when it happens - we won't be using any kind of birth control again until further notice. I'm fairly certain we both still want 4, and I don't mind doing them back to back to back to back. :) It'll be a financial consideration too - we want to be able to provide for the family without sacrificing attention to their care, needs, and our family unit.

~~~

Right now I'm just in a place of peace. We're trusting in God for our home, the health of our baby, and our continued love and devotion to each other as a husband and wife. There's so much less 'me' and so much more 'we.' And I couldn't be happier.

I'm hoping to start writing regularly again. I'm wanting to record all these big things that are coming up, and now that the pregnancy is more than just throwing up, hurting and sleeping all day every day, I feel even more inspired to write.

~~~

(For me)

My biggest prayers right now are for our home to come together at the right price, and with the right financing, and the right mortgage payment for us. I also would love to have a job that pays a whole lot better so that I can work a whole lot less to be able to be home with the baby instead of trying to figure out the childcare issue. My grandma being completely and totally healed. A new, safe car before the baby comes. And for 2009 to be even better and more successful than 2008 - with all our debts being paid off, and for us to be able to thrive in Him.

Sorry this is so long - I'll try to hide it after I eat. :)

sorry...

2008-11-03T19:37:14Z

hey all,

i am so sorry about the extended absence again. basically it started in august when my sister had to go into the hospital for emergency brain surgery. she had a wakeboarding accident that tore her carotid artery. it filled up with blood and she had a 3 inch blood clot that had to be removed. she went through the surgery, they created another artery to replace the blocked one, and she spent several more days in the icu. she went home towards the end of august with my parents, but only stayed there for about 3 days, and then she went home. she was back to work within a couple of weeks, and has since been fully released from any restrictions she had. her hair is growing back (you really can't tell where they shaved it), and the staples (18) have been removed and she's looking pretty good.

well, the first sunday she was in the hospital, my computer suffered a fatal error. it was down for about a month and a half, and i just barely got it back around the beginning of last month. in the meantime, i've been doing work on it when necessary, and i'm just barely getting all of the original settings back to it.

at the end of july, craig and i got pregnant. i'm 14 weeks today. it's been a difficult time for me...i've been sleeping so much, and i've been really sick, especially the last month or so. we got pregnant quickly, which we were/are thankful for. it's been fun to see my tummy grow and all that. we still don't know what the sex is yet. hopefully we'll find that out on the 11th of this month.

tomorrow marks 2 years for our marriage. that's pretty exciting. i'm pretty sure we're planning on going camping.

during all this time, my grandma was diagnosed with lou gherig's disease. we're believing for a complete healing. it started in her tongue. it's been really hard on everyone. craig's grandma died about a month ago. i put a knife through my hand, but thank God, i missed anything major that would have caused issues with being able to use my hand.

my brother is getting married in 1 month and 2 days. he's very excited. the girl is really really nice, and she's great for him. they're made for each other. and the funny part is that the night he met her (in 2000), he told his buddy he was going to marry her someday. pretty cute.

my sister is back together with her boyfriend. the brain surgery is what brought that on. and my other brother is just working away. he's in his last year of high school, very active at church, and has several different jobs he does. i'm fairly certain he's planning on going to college.

my dad's truck got stolen. they found it 12 miles state-side of mexico. it was beat up pretty bad - they bashed the interior lights in, and drove it in the desert for most of the way to mexico. it was scratched really badly, and when the tire blew, it also screwed up the axel. my dad also wrecked his corvette. he basically snapped it into a wall. no injuries. he accelerated too fast out of a turn, the back tires didn't catch the way they were supposed to, and he lost control of it. it was totaled. my parents tahoe has been acting up too. in the last three weeks it's broken down 3 times. so, they're down to a rented work truck for all three of them. it's been really hard.

other than that, my mom and dad are doing well.

both my grandpa's have alzheimer's, i guess. i haven't really been around them too much in the last couple of years, but the reports are coming back that they can't remember anything. most of the time, my one grandpa doesn't remember my name. that's been pretty hard.

work at target has been very difficult. they haven't been scheduling me for any hours because of the fact that i had to go on a leave of absence since i broke my foot. it's really taken a toll on us financially, at the very least mentally. God continues to provide for us.

we're hoping to move next year. our lease is up april 21st, roughly 2 weeks before the baby is due. i've been packing up the stuff that we don't use anymore, since by that time, bending over and picking things up will be humorous.

most of the fish in my fish tank have died. we're down to 3. from 20 or so. but all of our kittens are still alive and well, and making us laugh.

i played golf for the first time ever over the weekend. we (my husband and some others) were in a tournament. we didn't come in last, so that's great. i really had a lot of fun, and will probably continue to play. i was afraid it was going to be a lucy-ricky experience, but it wasn't at all, and we really enjoyed ourselves.

ooo - we got a new bed. it's been great. it's on a bed-frame and everything. all of our beds up until this one had been hand-me-downs and we'd always left them on the floor. it's nice to feel like a grown-up!

softball is over for the year. soccer will continue at this point, indefinitely. i enjoy watching his games.

someone tried to break into the apartment while i was in here the other day. that was pretty scary. i called the cops and everything. he hasn't been back. i'm glad of that.

i'm really looking for a job...something that doesn't require me to stand all day. it's just gotten too hard on my body.

craig got me a hair-cut for my birthday. that was like the best gift ever. he went too, and got a really nice cut for himself. the girl is pretty awesome.

okay - i think that's all i have time for right now. i hope everyone is doing better than we have been, and i'm very sorry for the extended absence.

talk to you all soon,
loves,
me

so not sleepy...

2008-08-13T09:33:13Z

it's 230. i'm totally awake, and it's outta control. lol i'm not even a little tired.

so, today i worked on my book a little. i filled out a couple applications, and made a nice dinner for me and craig. i fed the kitties, the fish, and the lizard. i didn't really read much today, but i did go and get the mail. we watched the olympics for a while, and took a nap. that's where my not-sleepy problem stemmed from.

i'm pretty sure it's going to rain tomorrow. i'll tackle windows after that. hopefully there's no rain expected for the weekend.

i guess i'm out of words. lol

liberty_lover @ 2008-02-27T09:41:00

2008-02-27T16:47:53Z

so, oh my golly, leslie langtry found my post. i have no idea how, truly, but she even commented! i feel star-struck - and like such a nerd. lol

sore doesn't begin to describe. yesterday was a constant reminder of everything we did the night before. we're going to work out again tonight - and i'm feeling much better today so i'm excited. we'll see how far we get with all this again. maybe not so much on the flappy-flying-arms? but on the other hand - that's what i'm most interested in losing.... :P

had nightmares. again. not a happy camper over that. when sleep is a fearful experience, it really screws just about everything up.

that's all i can think of for now. ttys.

liberty_lover @ 2008-02-26T15:31:00

2008-02-26T22:37:18Z

i had a really good day at work. i feel like i got a lot accomplished, and it was nice to be able to stop and smell the flowers a bit by talking to my "friends." they're work friends, and not outside of it to be sure, but still, it's nice to have people be excited to see you, and you them.

craig is coming home early tonight so that we can take care of our taxes. i'm excited to find out how much we're going to get back.

my favorite magazines right now are anything to do with weddings, vogue, taste of home, and real simple. real simple is a life-changing monthly gift that allows everything to go so much more smoothly. i absolutely love it.

i changed my layout - i just thought it was about time. i had the same one for two years? i changed it back in jan. i think, but maybe it was before then. grey is just such an amazing color - i love, love, love it.

anyway, i am heading off to the library to get lost in the world of fiction, finance, christian inspiration, and yoga (purely for the stretching, i don't care a hoot about the other stuff involved in it).

hugs